Brunswick Beacon, 03.23.23
Donald Trump helped Ron DeSantis become Florida’s Governor. Now, the apprentice is challenging the sorcerer. DeSantis’ problem is how to out-Donald ‘The Donald’ and steal Trump’s base. His solution? Let Donald be the Once and Future President. Ronald is the Man who would be King.
COVID let DeSantis lord it over Florida. The worst pandemic in 100 years has killed 1,121,512 Americans so far. At its height we had 23,378 COVID deaths in a single
week, a “9/11” every day. Ignoring public safety, DeSantis blocked mask mandates for Federal contractors and prohibited local authorities, including school districts, from enforcing COVID restrictions to slow local outbreaks. DeSantis pretended he was King, claiming the power to dictate public health policy for every level of government; local, state and federal.
He didn’t stop there. Abandoning all pretense of small-government conservatism, DeSantis prohibited even private businesses from taking safety precautions. When Norwegian Cruise Lines reopened service to vaccinated passengers only, DeSantis outlawed the restriction. Unsurprisingly, Florida has the highest COVID death rate of the nine most populous states.
But what good is being King if a lowly scribe can mock you with impunity? A DeSantis ally filed a bill forcing reporters and bloggers who dare to write about the governor to register within five days of mentioning He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Even Newt Gingrich called it “an embarrassment” and “insane.”
Still, the jewel in DeSantis’ crown was taking over the board that controls Disney World’s development. Saying the quiet part out loud, DeSantis proclaimed: “The corporate kingdom finally comes to an end,” as he signed legislation giving him control of his very own Magic Kingdom. Perhaps he’ll move the Governor’s mansion to Cinderella Castle? After all, he got married there!
Ronald turned the Happiest Place on Earth into DeSantis Land, his own personal utopia, where he can truly reign supreme. (H/T Jimmy Buffett.)
Can Donald trump that?